organic tequila

I’m up really late because I feel the incessant need to share my dream last night. Mainly because I don’t want to forget it. But also because I think it’s one of the most bizarre dreams I’ve ever had. So for your entertainment, and for your grand chance to look at me and officially certify me as the strangest person you’ll ever meet, here’s a glimpse into my crazy, subconscious dreamworld…

WARNING: I am not being overly dramatic when I say this dream is INSANE and TWISTED. I would say I just have a wild imagination, but even I think this dream is way over-the-top for me. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. ENJOY! :)

It felt like I was in a coliseum in Ancient Rome, but in the present day. I was sitting on the stone bleachers high up with a gentleman, who’s name I don’t recall, but let’s just name him Sam. And sitting next to us was this little redheaded kid, more like auburn red. Let’s call him Freddie cause I don’t remember his name either. Couldn’t have been more than 7-8 years old. (Alright, already weirded out? I’m not even close to crazy yet.)

All of a sudden this kid turns to Sam and I and said “He killed them.”

Sam and I both responded “Who killed them?”

(Keep in mind, clearly, as we’ve all seen in Inception, you tend to just appear in dreams without ever knowing the context of how you got there. So in this instance, in my dream, I knew who “them” was, but once I woke up, I had no idea who “them” was.)

Back in the dream, Freddie, who looked terrified, said “T.J. did.”

And for whatever bizzaro reason, the T.J. in reference, was in fact, Real World/Road Rules Challenge Host Extraordinaire-slash-BMXer T.J. Lavin…

I know, I know but just…stay with me, please…the weirdness continues.

Clearly, we could see it on Freddie’s face that he was terrified. I mean, a 7 year old just witnessed a mass murder?! Seriously?

And then Sam (or I) asked, “Does anyone else know? Did anyone else see?”

Freddie answered, “Only the Duke of the Hospital saw.”

(That is verbatim. Those were his EXACT words. Yes, the Duke of the Hospital, you read that right. I don’t even know what the Duke of the Hospital is, but apparently he witnessed the killing, too.)

To make this dream even more bizarre than it already is, this is who I imagined when Freddie said “The Duke of the Hospital.” This is the Duke from Rock-a-doodle, one of my favorite movies growing up. And cheers to you if you remember this guy…errr…owl.

Sam and I saw how genuinely scared Freddie was, but we were a bit skeptical. I mean, you know how kids can be. Their imaginations can run wild sometimes. So Sam suggested we go to the Duke ourselves, and ask him what he saw. However, it seemed in this dreamworld, the Duke was a bad man and maybe possibly in cahootz with T.J., as in, they may have planned the whole thing together.

So, I had the presence of mind to wonder if it was a good idea to bring it up to him. Because if we asked the Duke, and he and Freddie were the only witnesses, I thought the Duke may come after Freddie for ratting T.J. out.

I then asked Freddie, “Should we ask the Duke about it?”

And the look on his face told Sam and I “absolutely not.”

(I know, guys, this is ridiculous on so many levels — Why am I sharing this again?)

BUT THEN…

All of a sudden, coming up the stairs…was T.J. and his girl friend (She didn’t look like a girlfriend, just a friend that was a girl, but who knows). He came right towards the three of us, and Sam, being the protector he is, went over to him immediately, while I stayed back with Freddie.

I don’t know what Sam said, but while I was waiting and watching them talk, Freddie held my hand and said, “Don’t leave me.”

And I said, “Don’t worry. I won’t.”

And then I woke up.

————————————————-

Ok, I don’t quite know why I wanted to share this dream so badly. Clearly, my brain was on some other shit last night because this was just inane and random nonsense. T.J. Lavin? A mass murderer? The Duke of the Hospital? WTF??? Hell, this would make a great Lady Gaga video. And knowing how people worship anything she does, they would praise her for being visionary and innovative. Personally, I feel my own dream was a load of crap, as is mostly everyting Gaga does. But at least this dream was entertaining…to me. Gaga fails to do any of that for me.

Let’s get one thing straight here: I LOVE T.J. Lavin. Not just because he’s the host of The Challenge, which is the only show I watch religiously on MTV now, but I also think he’s a babe. Super hot. RAWR!

But I think it’s safe to say this may rate as one of the craziest dreams anyone will EVER have in this world…EVER.

That’s all for now. Good night!

SHE’S A FUCKIN DUDE!!!

I also found out that Lady Gaga is a rich kid. She went to the same high school as Caroline Kennedy and the Hilton sisters, and I never bothered looking her up before because of the whole weak chin thing. I guess I should have known she came from a rich family.  You know lookin’ like that and having a career, only means one thing and that thing is that there is money behind her. The only thing coming out of the middle class or lower class is hot chicks that broke free, the ugly chicks who find fame are always rich, I mean otherwise they’d be working in cubicles hating their lonely lives wishing they could find a man to knock them up or some shit.

Either way, I should have known she was a rich kid though, I mean she always pushes this fashion and art thing. She always has to say how into art and fashion and music she is to make sure we don’t forget and confuse her for some kind of popstar and for the most part that repetition usually works and when people hear her name brought up they drop useless facts in conversation like “I hear she’s into fashion and art” eventually making us all forget that she’s a little rich kid trying too hard.

She’s even labeled her shitty pop music as it’s own genre of progressive electro pop or some shit, to keep the street cred she tried so hard to maintain all those nights spent in the Lower East Side listening to the best New York Electro DJs and fully absorbing herself into their world, by learning everything she could about the fashion and art to not seem like the fucking poser she is.

Truth is that it happens all the time. The rich become the fashion/art fanatics because the poor are too busy being poor and having jobs to pay off debt and just don’t have time to try to find something real to identify with because we are already living it and like the rich kids, hate everything about our lives, but not able to find a way out because we’re trapped. But the rich can buy vintage clothes, go out on weeknights, take art classes, go to museums and openings with with other rich people who are trying to denounce being rich kids, and who end up producing random shit all day before getting their disappointed parents to bankroll their careers and nurture their talents leading to number one selling albums, popular t-shirt lines and celebrity DJ careers.

I don’t know if that rant makes sense, but to simplify it, the hipster electro scene is made up of rich kids trying to ignore being rich by living this bohemian cocaine fueled life where they are out in clubs every night, in ratty clothes, sucking dj dick and living in artist lofts, eventually getting daddy to invest in their side projects that they ripped off from a poor person, and he agrees because they dropped out of college and he doesn’t want embarrassing kids, that will lead to getting the same street cred as the real talent in the scene they’ve attached themselves to. Not that any of that matters, it’s just fucking lame.”

source

AMEN! I fuckin hate Lady Gaga. Speaking as a huge supporter of the gay community, and as someone who usually shares a lot of their interests, including the electro-pop-dance fusion that this pretentious whore says she “creates”, I cannot find one fiber of my being that will allow myself to adore this fake poser and attention slut.

UPDATE:

On another note, this new chick in the game Ke$ha (I hate the money sign!) creates the definition of “electro-pop-dance.” I just heard an early release of her album “Animal” and talk about something different. Neither of her songs sound the same, but there’s a distinct sound there. If someone wants to be outrageous and have crazy stage shows, I think she deserves it for bringing something new to the scene. But I don’t think she resorts to attention whoring schemes.

Instead, she has that kind of “Uffie-I don’t give a fuck-I look like a slut but so what” vibe going on, which is aight, I’m not hatin. Oh, and she’s not a rich kid. She had to work hard to get where she’s at, and find an identity that was true to her. She didn’t have the “arts and fashion” handed to her on a silver platter. So, I kinda buy her “artistic integrity” more than Lady GAG-a. BLECH!